


Broken Hearts

by Hepburn_Junkie22



Category: Major Crimes (TV), The Closer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fools in Love, No Emily Raydor, No Jack Raydor, No Ricky Raydor, Original Female Character - Freeform, Sharon/Andy are Endgame, Thats what makes the love real, The Closer/Major Crimes, They are just as stubborn in AUs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-02-27 16:31:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13252158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hepburn_Junkie22/pseuds/Hepburn_Junkie22
Summary: An AU story with my very own OC about love, loss, and dealing with everything in between. Holidays tend to bring to surface the feelings we try to suppress and they always seem to be so much more painful.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this was something I've been toying with…the OC is from four of my other stories, but they don't have to be read in order to understand this one. I also have to disclose that this is AU so if you don't like please don't read; there is no Jack…or Ricky and Emily. The only thing about this story that is definite is the ending, I've had that in mind from the very beginning (I write my stories backwards). 
> 
> **Disclaimer: The characters and respective shows are not mine, I can only claim the story line and my own OC, everything else I'm just borrowing.

"But Dad…" Avery whined, "I always spend New Years Eve with you."

Andy Flynn rubbed the back of his head, his hand gently gliding across the soft hairs found there. It was true, Avery normally spent Christmas Eve with her mother along with Christmas Day and then came back to help her father welcome in the New Year. It was an agreement they had worked out long ago and it was one that seemed to suit them both. He knew just how important Christmas was to Sharon and he respected that, being married to her all of these years had taught him that much.

Technically they were separated and had been for ten years this February; he wasn't sure why Sharon hadn't filed the divorce papers yet. Andy knew for a fact that they sat in the top desk drawer of her condo, where all her important papers were stored. She had been adamant that he sign them so long ago and now the situation seemed stagnant, why not just get it over with?

He had been devastated when she said she needed time and space. They had come through so much…his drinking problems and her transfer into Internal Affairs. Neither had been easy on their relationship, but it seemed to strengthen it as well, or so Andy had thought. Then what seemed like residual feelings started following them home from work and that was something they had promised they never would let happen. They began to butt heads over cases, witnesses, and even the evidence on occasion. Sharon began to harden her resolve and pull away out of instinct; the farther she went the more upset and confused Andy became.

Things had spiraled out of control from there, becoming heated between them and they agreed for everyone involved that it was just better to separate. Avery had only been six at the time and she took the new living arrangements in stride; getting to choose things for her new room at Dad's house seemed so fun. Spending time alone with each parent was also exciting and new. After a while however the novelty wore off and she began to question why Mommy and Daddy no longer slept in the same room…why they no longer lived in the same house.

And now with everything that had happened in the last few years with the Chief and Sharon being reassigned divisions, it was all becoming too much. The ache wasn't so bad when he only had to see Sharon twice a week and then at the occasional soccer practice or tournament. They ran into each other sporadically at work and he could almost imagine that his heart had healed. Then the whole fiasco with Phillip Stroh had happened and somehow Sharon landed herself in the Murder Room permanently, head of the Major Crimes Division. Andy felt his world flip upside down and himself becoming increasingly anxious in those first few months.

Then it turned odd. She began to turn to him when she needed help or had questions that needed to be answered. The closeness they once shared wasn't as defined, but he could definitely feel something there, just under the surface. They began to fall back in sync, even having a casual dinner together every once in a while. He began bringing her coffee in the morning, her order had been the same for almost twenty years, his heart warming slightly at the small smile it would put on her lips.

Andy sighed heavily, "I know Sweetheart, but she asked and you agreed…it's only this one time, plus you'll be back Friday."

The girl shouldered her duffel bag as she preceded her Dad down the hallway, the pressure of his hand gently guiding her through the small bungalow. When she reached the living room she pivoted slightly, looking over her shoulder so that her hazel eyes connected with his brown ones.

"But that means you'll be all alone," she stated in a small voice.

Before she could walk any further, Andy grabbed her from behind and hugged her tightly. He buried his nose in her hair as he placed a gently kiss on the crown of her head, willing the tears to stay where they were. He was getting awfully emotional in his old age. He then squeezed her slightly, reassuringly as his quiet baritone filled the sad and quiet interior of the home.

"Its ok," he paused, "I'll be ok."

With one final squeeze, he released the girl and gently nudged her towards the front door as he grabbed his keys and phone off the hall table. He patted his pockets, searching for his wallet and then the holster for his gun to make sure each was firmly in place.

"Now we better get going," his eyes were shining as he teased, "you know your mom hates it when we're late."

As they walked silently out to the car, Andy contemplated why Sharon wanted Avery this evening. They had officially adopted Rusty a few weeks ago and Sharon wanted to make this holiday season special after what had transpired last year. And if he was honest with himself, he wanted that for the kid too; this poor kid that had landed in their laps without so much as a warning.

When Sharon had broached him with the subject of Rusty's adoption he didn't hesitate to answer in the affirmative. In fact, his quick response had seemed to leave the woman speechless and staring at him almost dumbfounded. The boy was already traveling back and forth from their homes on Avery's schedule. It may have been rough in the beginning, but watching him open up and bond with his daughter kept Andy pushing forward; eventually Rusty found his way into the Lieutenant's heart.

It was with Andy whom Rusty had stayed during the previous year when things had become too dangerous. He had offered up his home to the boy so he would have somewhere familiar to stay and be allowed some sort of comfort. Andy had grown to love him as much as he loved Avery; the kid deserved a fresh start and that was something both he and Sharon could readily agree on.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched the girl in the seat next to him as she stared off into space. She looked so much like Sharon at times that it would catch Andy off guard. She was petite and slender, her hair a few shades lighter than his had been in his youth. While she had his temper, Avery had also inherited Sharon’s ability to reflect and make cautious decisions; her eyes would blaze just like her Mothers when she was determined. Yet she wasn’t afraid to use the cocky smile he saw in the mirror every so often when she was in a teasing mood 

The reflections of the storefronts and eventually the leftover Christmas lights danced quickly over her face. He knew she was sad about not being with him tonight, but he also knew how much she loved her mother. Rusty had his car and would be on his way home from work; Sharon should already be at the condo having only worked a half-day. Avery would be sad at first, but then as the night progressed and they all indulged in some silly traditions, she would forget about what her dad would be doing.

\------------------------------------  
\------------------------------------

Several traffic lights and questionable Los Angeles driving tactics later, Andy pulled to a stop in front of Sharon's building. They sat still for a few minutes, contemplating each other silently, both lost in their own world. The spell was broken when Avery reached across her body to unlatch her seatbelt. Andy laid his hand on her arm before she could open the car door, squeezing gently.

"Love you munchkin," he said softly.

Then he smiled softly when a familiar grin looked back at him.

"Love you too, Dad."

Reaching into the back of the car and feeling around on the floorboard, Andy closed his fist around a manila envelope and passed it to Avery wordlessly. When she looked at the folder and then back to him with confusion, he shrugged noncommittally.

"Just some paper work for your Mom, she will know what to do with it."

The girl nodded absently mindedly and shifted her bag as she finally managed to exit the car. The Lieutenant watched silently as she strolled through the glass doors, greeting the security guard pleasantly, smiling from ear to ear. When she rounded the corner to the elevator bank and was finally out of sight, he slowly pulled away from the curb. He waded effortlessly into traffic and headed toward the PCH. He was headed to the coast to spend a few days on the beach and to enjoy the cool, salt air.

Andy hated to lie to his daughter but if he had really told her what was in the envelope she never would have let him leave, let alone given it to Sharon.

Sharon, he thought, that's a whole new can of worms.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now we get to see Sharon's perspective in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was something I've been toying with…the OC is from four of my other stories, but they don't have to be read in order to understand this one. I also have to disclose that this is AU so if you don't like please don't read; there is no Jack…or Ricky and Emily. The only thing about this story that is definite is the ending, I've had that in mind from the very beginning (I write my stories backwards). 
> 
> **Disclaimer: The characters and respective shows are not mine, I can only claim the story line and my own OC, everything else I'm just borrowing.

Sharon was just finishing up the dishes when she heard a key turn in the lock of the front door. She smiled softly to herself as she rounded the corner to come face to face with her daughter; even though it had been a few days she had missed Avery terribly. She walked slowly towards the door, offering a hand to take some of the girl's belongings.

"Hello my Sweet Girl," Sharon greeted warmly, dipping her head to place a kiss on her daughter's forehead.

Avery smiled wide, "Hi Mama," then she looked around the condo curiously.

Already anticipating the girl's thoughts Sharon nudged her shoulder gently, giving her a reassuring smile. She knew who her daughter was looking for and quickly explained his absence.

"Rusty called a few minutes ago to say he was running late," the older woman shrugged, "something about a bad accident on the freeway."  
Avery's face fell just a little, "I hope everyone was ok."

Sharon patted her shoulder gently, guiding them through the hallway and into the living room, dropping Avery's bag by the foot of the couch as they sat down. Andy had the option to take the last few days off and spend some desperately needed quality time with their daughter. It was his only request when she had asked to have the girl back in her house on New Year's Eve…who was she to begrudge him that?

She looked the young woman over carefully, trying to gauge what type of a mood she was in and she seemed happy enough. She decided to continue on with her train of thought.

"How was your time with your Dad?" Sharon questioned carefully.

It seemed that Avery always had a protective streak when it came to her father; she wasn't always willing to share certain information with her mother. Sharon had to pick and choose what she wanted to ask about, one misstep and the girl would close herself off and dismiss the subject.

Avery burrowed into the couch, reaching out for a pillow to pull onto her lap, hugging it to her chest. She then let out a tired sigh as she finally got settled, crossing her legs underneath her.

"It was fun," she started, "nice to have a few uninterrupted days with him, but it was pretty quiet for the most part."

Sharon hummed noncommittally, giving the ok to continue.

"We saw a movie one day and then relaxed around the house for the rest," she shrugged and then abruptly sat up as she remembered something.

"We also had dinner one night with Rusty at that new bistro a few blocks over," she recalled, "he said it had the best burgers in town."

The older woman rolled her eyes and snorted inelegantly, "Rusty says every burger he has is the best."

Avery giggled at her mother's dramatic reaction as she leaned into her personal space. She stretched her legs out along the couch and laid her head on Sharon's shoulder; unconsciously inhaling her subtle perfume. She relaxed a little more as she felt her mother's arms come around her shoulders and a gentle kiss pressed into the side of her temple.

"I missed you," she admitted in a small voice.

Sharon inhaled sharply at the honesty in the young girl's voice. Avery had always been attached and affectionate with her mother, but since she had entered her teens the displays of affection were becoming more rare. Sharon assumed it was the natural progression of things and accepted it, but that didn't mean she didn't cherish these moments when they happened to surprise her.

She held on a little tighter, "I missed you too Baby."

The first few years of Avery being a teen were tough to say the least. Her mother began to see the stubbornness and combativeness that she received from her father come more into light. When they argued, and they did often, Sharon couldn't help but see Andy at some moments. When Avery's eyebrows would come together in annoyance or when she would turn red in the face when she was frustrated. The similarities were especially noticeable in some of their worst fights when outbursts had been unavoidable. The passion for life Sharon could take in stride, but the attitude had been hard.

As she slowly stroked Avery's soft hair, she thought back to their life so long ago. It wasn't always so hard, her life with Andy that is. At the beginning of their marriage it was fantastic, she had never been more happy than she was with him; of course they had their ups and downs, namely her transfer and his drinking problem. Although those were short lived…Andy eventually accepted her decision to move to FID, knowing it was what was best for Avery. At least at the end of every day she was guaranteed that one parent would come home safe and sound. 

As for the drinking well…that had taken one ultimatum from Sharon. One heated argument, him leaving, and her tracking him down; she knew what he was capable of he just needed to see it as well. There were a few hiccups along the way but they always attempted to overcome them as a couple, never bringing work home with them.

Looking back now, Sharon could accept the blame where blame was due; she was as much at fault as Andy was for the separation. Things at work, the name-calling, and the isolation began to boil over and sneak into their home. It was subtle at first and then they begun to feel the pressure, the resentment towards one another. Heaven forbid their divisions ever crossed paths in the work place; it was a throw down of cosmic proportions. She began to close her self off from him and inadvertently caused him to suffer; with nothing left to do he pulled away as well.

She had been so adamant about the separation and then having Andy sign the divorce papers that she didn't honestly think about the repercussions until it was too late. Six months after the separation and she found herself desperately missing Andy and the way he would hold her at night. She missed the way he would come up behind her after a long day at work and hold her until the anxiety would disappear. She missed the way he would softly snore into her ear while they slept entwined together. She missed her husband plain and simple. 

However, by the time she realized what a terrible mistake she had made, Andy was avoiding her out of self-preservation. She never actually had the gall to go through with the divorce; somewhere in the back of her mind she hoped there was still a chance. Reconciliation was still possible.

So when she was thrust into the role as head of Major Crimes, Sharon feared that things would only get worse between them. To some degree she had been correct in her assumption, the first few weeks involved many tense moments between the former couple. Then something in their dynamic shifted, they were in new territory. 

After that Andy acted as the perfect Lieutenant, doing as she asked when she asked. She wasn't sure exactly when the change occurred, but they went from colleagues to confidants to friends. He became her go to guy when she needed support and help in the work place, then a friend she could confide in over a simple dinner or coffee break. They were slowly finding their way back to one another…or at least she hoped they were.

Avery interrupted her thoughts by shifting slightly in her embrace. Eyes of hazel found her own of green, searching her face carefully. The young woman was also perceptive like her father and could read Sharon like a book when she felt the need. Right now she could see that her mother was mulling something over.

"You ok?" she inquired softly.

Sharon nodded and plastered a smile across her face, the best she could muster under the circumstances. Avery wasn't the only one who kept a tight leash on her emotions. She was just about to offer her daughter words of assurance when they heard a noise at the front door. They both turned in time, Avery looking around her mother, to see Rusty walk through the front door.

The young woman leapt up and rushed to the door to offer help to her brother, sliding his book bag off his shoulder. Sharon's smile became genuine when she saw Rusty gently pull Avery into his side for a hug. From the very beginning he had never shied away from his sister, in fact Avery was the only person he accepted physical affection from at first.

As Sharon joined them she heard her daughter ask Rusty if had missed her and then his low voice answering her immediately. She didn't quite catch the response but it wasn't the one Avery had been looking for as she shoved her brother gently.

"Ok children," Sharon began as she clasped her hands together in front of her.

When she knew she had both of her children's attention she laid out the plan of action for the evening. Rusty would shower and get comfy bringing out his dirty laundry, as would Avery after she took a little time to unpack. After that was done they would decide on take out and watch the ball drop in Time Square, maybe a few boards games thrown in here and there.

When they nodded their heads in the affirmative, Sharon gestured to them with a "shooing" motion, encouraging them to do as she asked. She watched them both gather their belongings and turn to disappear to their rooms. She turned and was about to cross the threshold into the kitchen when she felt a quick tap on her shoulder. Startled, she turned to face her daughter, eyes sparkling at ruffling her mother's feathers. 

When the older woman's gazed turned questioning, the younger woman shrugged quickly. She pushed the manila envelope into Sharon's outstretched palm, already on her way back down the hallway and to her room.

"Its from Dad," she called over her shoulder, "he said you would know what to do with it."

Sharon felt confusion and then a seed of dread settle into her stomach; all the paper work from Andy's last case had already been turned in and filed according to protocol before he took his vacation days. 

She grabbed he sweater off the back of the dinning table chair, tugging it on as she walked towards the balcony. The sliding glass door felt light compared to weight of the unaddressed envelope in her hand.

She settled on the deck chair, pulling her sweater tighter around her lithe frame to ward off the crisp December air. She had no idea what was in the envelope and that scared her more than anything.

She felt as if she sat there for hours, but knew it couldn't have been more than minutes. When she couldn't put it off any longer she gently ran the tip of her fingernail under the edge of the envelope, breaking the seal and causing the flap to spring open. 

As she reached into it and grasped the solitary paper, she noticed her hands were shaking terribly. Her eyes began to scan the document and what she read made her heart sink.

Oh no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work was originally featured only page for ff.net, but I am slowly transferring all my works over to ao3. This is one of my personal favorite AUs that I've written, and now that I'm sharing it with a new audience I hope to finish it, perhaps make it longer than originally intended!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharon deals with the contents of the envelope from Andy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Disclaimer: The characters and respective shows are not mine, I can only claim the story line and my own OC, everything else I'm just borrowing.

He wanted a transfer.

Sharon felt as if, for a brief moment, she was drowning under a rushing tide, desperately grasping for the surface and the air her lungs so desperately needed. She knew that the burning ache in her chest wasn't from lack of oxygen but hurt…. sadness so deep it made her sway in her deck chair. She didn't understand, or maybe it had been that she chose not to see what was right in front of her…maybe there had been some things about their current relationship that she had overlooked.

Her eyes were drawn back down to the paper as she continued to scan the contents of the official document, seeing all the correct signatures in place and even a new transfer destination for the person in question. She still couldn't fathom what she was reading.

Robbery Homicide?

She had heard, through the LAPD grapevine, that the Lieutenant placed in charge after Chief Taylor left the department was considering his retirement. What she didn't know was that it was official or that Andy had applied for the position…and had apparently been given the opportunity. He wouldn't be granted the rank of captain but he would get all the responsibilities and perks expected of one; he would become what she was essentially, the diplomatic department head.

When she had read the letter through a few more times, ensuring she had indeed understood it the way it was intended, she placed it softly on top of the envelope still on her lap. She looked toward the backdrop of Los Angeles, the high-rise buildings and hills in the distance creating an intriguing silhouette. The light from the cars and businesses seemed to be captured in between the valleys, reaching toward the sky in an attempt to reach the stars.

She was so lost in thought and staring off into space that a soft hand on her shoulder made Sharon jump practically out of her skin. She turned her head sharply to come face to face with Rusty, a look of concern etched into his brow as he backed away cautiously.

"Sorry," he said as he held up his hands, "I called your name like five times."

Sharon shook her head, trying to clear her mind, "I'm sorry Rusty…I was just thinking."

The young man looked quickly to the paper in her lap, she attempted to move it to her other side to shield it from prying eyes. She new she wasn't quick enough and he that he had seen at least the top few lines when a small noise, reminiscent of a gasp, escaped his lips. Her son went to open his mouth, as if to question her, but the older woman shook her head in the negative firmly. 

For once in their relationship Rusty took the hint and decided it might be a conversation best left for later. He scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"Well we…" he hesitated slightly, "we are ready when you are Sharon."

She followed his flippant hand gesture with her eyes towards the sliding glass door and then beyond. Avery was already stretched out on the couch wearing her favorite grey sweater and her hair swept up into a messy bun perched on the top of her head. She had retrieved the blankets and extra pillows, making a nest like structure for her and her mother to burrow deep into while watching the festivities in New York.

Sharon's heart ached when she noticed her daughter biting her nails; something inherited from her father. In the early part of their relationship, when everything was still new, she had convinced Andy to give up the habit for toothpicks instead.

"Yes of course," she murmured softly and rose to her feet.

She clutched the papers in her hand and waited for Rusty to walk into the condo before sedately following him. He turned slightly and headed into the kitchen, but she could feel his eyes on her, burning straight through her. Sharon chose to ignore his gaze and the feelings that it conjured inside of her. She had a few things she needed to do before she could truly relax and enjoy the holiday with her children; change for starters and then maybe, just maybe, make one very important phone call.

When she stopped just behind the sofa, she leaned forward and lightly squeezed Avery's shoulder.

"I'm just going to change into some comfortable clothes," she shrugged delicately, " and then make a phone call, I'll be right back."

Avery looked up at the tone in her mother's voice and Sharon could see the wheels in the young woman's mind start to spin to life. She would no doubt make the connection between the envelope and Sharon's now less than cheerful mood; hopefully no other connections would be made. Eyes so much like her own and so much like Andy's looked up at her and wordlessly, silently appraising.

"Ok Mama," Avery relented, "Do you want us to order for you?"

"Sure Baby," Sharon responded with a gentle pat to the girl's head.

With a nod in Rusty's direction Sharon slipped silently down the hall, trying to collect her thoughts as she went.

\---------------------------  
\---------------------------

 

Once she was safely ensconced in her room, seated on her bed, she drew her cellphone out of her font pocket. For a few brief moments she stared at the blank screen before she tossed it in a frustrated huff onto the blanket behind her. She then began to pace back and forth, up and down the length of her room. Every so often she would stop and look at the phone lying on top of her purple duvet, seemingly mocking her.

She should call him, that much she was certain of, but what she would say to him was another matter entirely. She needed to talk to him so she could at least begin to understand his thought process; maybe even talk him through it. She would really rather do it in person, but Andy had told her before leaving work all those days ago that he was planning on spending the days she had Avery on the Coast. That meant he was going to the timeshare in Malibu, a beautiful piece of ocean front property, complete with a private beach. This was a place he retreated to after each difficult decision or event in his life; it was a place for him to reflect and let go.

He went there after Sharon gave her ultimatum about his drinking problem; she would leave if he couldn't get it under control. He went there after his mother died a few months after Avery was born, the grief becoming too much. He spent a week there after their separation became final and another few days after signing the divorce papers.

Then there was the time he was brutally beaten after a meeting and had called her; she had shown up at the crime scene with a racing heart and sinking feeling in her stomach. After her investigation of badgering the witness and catching Rick Zuman red handed, he retreated there to recover and 'lick' his wounds. Their encounter after that case still stung for so many reasons. 

Now as she thought back, he had also taken a weekend in Malibu when she was first transferred to Major Crimes.

Sharon shook her head once again and decided that she didn't need a plan of action; this wasn't a murder investigation or some interrogation. This was Andy, the father of her children that she was going to talk to. Despite their time apart, he was still her best friend; she didn't need to be on her guard…maybe just a little cautious.

She wanted to be comfortable when she had this conversation, so she pulled out the bottom drawer of her dresser, grasping the red plaid pajama pants and the old academy sweatshirt beneath. Tossing them on the bed, she walked through the doorway of her bathroom and began to shed her layers. 

First came the black cardigan and then the grey t-shirt followed closely by her jeans. She shimmied them down and over her hips, kicking them off of her feet. She collected the discarded clothes and tossed them in the direction of the hamper; the muted thump as they hit the floor echoed in the quiet space. She would collect them in the morning.

Sharon then discarded her glasses on the counter and turned on the tap with a flick of her wrist. She became mesmerized as she watched the water fall from the faucet and swirl clockwise down the drain of the sink. She touched the stream gently with the tips of her fingers; the cold a shock to her already overworked system. Cupping her hands she gathered water and bent towards the bowl, splashing the cool liquid across her heated cheeks. She breathed with relief, letting a few drops spill over her chin and down her neck.

When she reached up for the hand towel the face staring back at her startled Sharon for a moment. It wasn't that she looked that different, Sharon saw herself in the mirror everyday, the lines and planes never changing. It was the despondency she saw looking back at her that made her shiver anxiously and look away quickly.

She replaced the towel and snatched up her glasses as she trudged back through the doorway and into her bedroom. Pulling on the pajama bottoms and sweatshirt quickly, she flopped inelegantly onto her bed, molding into the soft down comforter. Sharon took a deep breath as she slid her finger across her phone and opened to the home screen, selecting the app to make a call. She dialed him swiftly…she knew the number by heart.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three rings

Four rings.

On the fifth ring Sharon's call was sent directly to Andy's voicemail and her ears were assaulted with his deep baritone. She could imagine the cheeky grin in his tone, the dimple deep and pronounced in his cheek, as his voice rumbled on. She stabbed the end button irritably and watched as the screen went blank. He was ignoring her.

Well I'll fix that, she thought vehemently.

She viciously slid her finger across the phone's screen once again and selected his number. As the number began to redial, she stared at the ceiling, her foot jumping rhythmically against the mattress…a nervous habit she'd had since her youth. Andy used to tease her about it and would rub her leg to soothe her nerves away.

Once again after five rings Sharon was sent straight to voicemail; she waited patiently for his greeting to finish and after the beep she began her short but firm message.

"Andrew Michael Flynn," she began, voice like ice, "we need to talk…if I don't hear from you within the next thirty minutes prepare for another guest at the beach house."

She hung up the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work was originally featured only page for ff.net, but I am slowly transferring all my works over to ao3. This is one of my personal favorite AUs that I've written, and now that I'm sharing it with a new audience I hope to finish it, perhaps make it longer than originally intended!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did she go after him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Disclaimer: The characters and respective shows are not mine, I can only claim the story line and my own OC, and everything else I'm just borrowing.

The drive to the beach house hadn't been so bad, in fact the highways were suspiciously quiet for what should have been the busiest night of the year. It had taken Andy about an hour to reach his destination and he had admired the curling waves all along the coast, moving in the darkness in perfect rhythm.  
After he had dropped his stuff at the front door, he walked around the small house turning on a few lights so he would be able to see when he came back inside. The place was cozy and quaint; Sharon had decorated it when they first bought it in hues of delicate blues and green. The furniture was a soft beige color...warm and inviting is what she had wanted. She wanted it to be a place that they could escape to when things became hectic, when they needed a break from the outside world.

They still shared the cottage, letting each other know when they would be there so there would be no interruptions; it was one of Avery's favorite places. Sharon had a few designated weeks in June for her vacation and then Andy's were in August; the rest of the year was just a guessing game. Communication was key, it hadn’t happened many times but when they did happen upon the house on the same weekend it made for an awkward experience.

Half the time when Andy was there he barely registered the house; too many painful memories and too many photos to contend with. Things that were a constant reminder of his failed marriage and how different things had turned out, things he wished were different…things he wished he could change. In fact there were many instances where he had debated giving his key to Sharon, turning over his stake in the property.

He knew Avery's handprint from kindergarten would still be hanging on the fridge; next to it the picture of Sharon and him cuddled up on the sand dune wrapped in a green flannel blanket. She was laughing with a wide toothy smile on her face while Andy's head was buried in her neck, kissing the soft skin there, if he remembered correctly. They had barely been married a year in that one.

There would still be the picture on the end table next to the couch of Sharon and Avery, no more than three months old, sitting in the bay window of the dinning room. The sun was streaming through the curtains behind them and Sharon was lifting Avery up, kissing her forehead gently. The way her smile lit up her face as she kissed the soft baby skin, the love she had for their daughter made his heart melt. He loved that picture, still had one on his night stand in his home and he used to have one on his desk at work…he had put that away when Sharon transferred in.

Andy gazed forward as he strode to back of the house toward the wall of windows, something Sharon insisted she needed, she loved the way the sun shone through them in the morning. He would often find her standing in front of them in the morning, coffee cup clutched in her hand as she watched the birds dance above the waves. She would remark about their beauty, how effortlessly graceful they were.

He unlocked the sliding glass door; the solidness and chill of the object bringing him back a bit. As it slid open he could immediately feel the temperature change, there was no longer the house deflecting the damp air or the fresh scent of the ocean. He took a deep breath and let the dampness coat his lungs and buffering his soul.

It was a tradition dating way back to when Sharon and he were first married, when they would arrive they would head out to the beach to admire the waves if it was still light. They would sit on the shore, Sharon sitting between his legs and her head resting on his chest, her warmth his anchor. The last few times Andy had come here it was dark when he arrived, so he would sit on the damp sand a stare at the stars that were normally hidden by the lights of the city. He had begun trying to learn the constellations, which was proving to be a fun challenge.

He slowly crossed the deck and stairs, sighing with relief when he felt his feet sink into the sand; he couldn't feel it between his toes but that was ok, it was too cold to indulge that now. It would have to wait until tomorrow. He walked for a few minutes in the direction of the water line and just before he reached the spot where the waves broke, he stopped.

He shrugged to himself, seems like as good of place as any.

He groaned as he carefully settled himself on the unforgiving ground, his sore joints protesting with audible pops and cracks. When he was comfortably settled, his legs crossed at the ankles and his upper body leant back on his elbows, he gazed at the dark shadows in the distance. He could hear the crash of the water as it impacted with the sand and then the rush of the tide as it headed back out to sea. It was a comfort to Andy, the air heavy with mist and the constant crash of the waves; it was something that always seemed to calm his nerves.

He had come here often to heal and it always seemed to help him gather and center his thoughts. It wasn't that he wasn't sure about the transfer; because he was…he was afraid of Sharon's reaction. They had gotten to a place where they could be good friends once again and he didn't want her to think that it didn't matter, because it did. He knew the type of strain this would put on their relationship and maybe even his own with Avery and of course Rusty. Although if he was being completely honest with himself and everyone else, he couldn't do it anymore, this dance they seemed to be having.

This was a good opportunity for not only his career but for he and Sharon to finish healing…and they wouldn't be able to do that in the constant presence of one another. Andy wanted her to be able to move on and find someone who would be able to make her happy, someone who deserved her more than he ever did. 

He wanted to be able to go to work everyday and not have to constantly battle with the feeling of relief and anguish. They in fact seemed to go hand in hand these days. The move would be difficult at first, but eventually everything would even it self out…or at least that's what he kept trying to tell him self.  
It was a while later that he noticed the sky had darkened and the stars were even brighter, a telltale sign it was later in the evening. His elbows were beginning to ache from being held in the same position for so long, so Andy sat up straight, taking some of the strain off the tired joints. 

He readjusted himself into a sitting position, his legs folded slightly underneath his body, rubbing the nape of his neck with his hand. It was a nervous habit that Sharon hadn't been able to break him of. Just like his attempts to keep her from seeking out her pockets for her hands, her efforts to corral his hands never seemed to work.

He could feel the tension shift and radiate down through his back and legs, the pressure becoming too much and reminding him that he wasn't exactly as young as he used to be. Andy let out a soft groan as he slowly rose to his feet, brushing the wet sand from the seat of his jeans, as he turned around. All the while he was oblivious to the shadow silhouetted on the back porch.

When he finally looked up and saw the lone figure standing on the top step of the stairs, he froze in place. He could place that stance anywhere, the firmly rooted feet and the arms folded over her chest gave away her current mood. As if those wouldn't have, the stony look in her eyes and thin set to her lips would have made a lesser man cower; she was definitely unhappy. Even in her LAPD sweatshirt and plaid pajama pants tucked into her black UGGs, she had a commanding presence.

Andy looked up towards the stars one last time, releasing a dejected sigh and wishing for some sort of strength, resolve even, for the upcoming conversation.

 

\---------------------------  
\---------------------------

 

Sharon was livid.

No, no, no…livid was an understatement.

She was pissed. She couldn't believe him! She couldn't believe that he would be so selfish as to not answer any of her phone calls; the first and two more on her way down the Pacific Coast Highway no less. She had worked her self up tremendously on her way to the beach house and now that she was almost there, she was afraid that her temper would get the best of her. She wasn't sure how civil she could be to Andy at this point in time.

When she had made the decision to come after him she had quickly explained to Rusty and Avery what was going on. Not the nature of the papers in the envelope but the fact that she needed to speak with Andy and he wasn't answering. When she told them she was going to find him, both her children nodded wordlessly, watching her pace the front room while deciding what to do. She promised that she would be back as soon as she could and that she was sorry about missing the festivities with them.

She could tell that the girl and boy were confused, but no matter how badly they wanted to know what was going on, they also knew how private their mother was. She would tell them if it was necessary...if she didn't volunteer the information, chances were it wasn't any of their business.

"Sharon, its ok," Rusty shrugged nonchalantly, "We'll be ok, huh Squirt?"

Avery bumped his shoulder playfully, "Of course, we'll just order pizza and watch some movies."

After a few more reassurances and more apologies on Sharon's end, she found her self pulling out of her apartment building and heading toward the coast.  
The only consolation in having to hunt Andy down was that the highway was completely deserted and this gave her time to contemplate what she wanted to say to him. The more she thought about it and the more she mulled over the events that lead her to this point, the angrier she became. Partly at Andy for the way he informed her and ran, but partly at her self as well; she hadn't been any better all those years ago when she requested the separation.

When she pulled her silver sedan behind the red squad car in the gravel driveway, she could see light flooding through the windows of the house. She quickly unbuckled her seat belt as she thrusts open the door; she pulled herself up and out, shutting the door violently behind her. When the damp sea air hit her face and her nose she stopped momentarily; it had been too long since she'd had a chance to make it out here, she loved it almost as much as Avery did.

Sharon slowly approached the front steps and mentally made a note of the summer flowers that needed to be pruned and cut back at some point, how sad and deflated they looked. She gripped the icy wood of the bannister of the front porch as she ascended the steps. The once bright wood was worn completely smooth from so much use, the sheer of the lacquer almost gone.

She hummed to herself as turned the knob to the front door and raised her eyes in surprise when she found it to be unlocked. The brunette shook her head as she wiped her feet on the welcome mat and stepped over the threshold. She was surprised that the temperature inside the house didn't differ much from that of the outside and then she saw the back door was slightly ajar. She strode towards it, barely recognizing her surroundings, she knew exactly where Andy would be. The view from her wall of windows caught her attention; the dark swirling shadows in the distance and the loud roar of the ocean reached her ears as she pushed the door open wider, allowing her to slip through.

She spotted him before she set foot onto the back porch; the lonely figure was leant back on the sand. He was admiring the waves or the stars, she wasn't sure which, but she would know his solid form anywhere.

Sharon crossed the deck silently and came to rest on the top step; she folded her arms across her chest trying to keep the wind from finding its way to her. She cocked her hip against the bannister and waited patiently, he would notice her sooner or later. She watched as he rose off his elbows, no doubt they were beginning to become painful, and sat crossed legged on the sand. She could see the play of his back muscles ripple as he adjusted himself.

He seemed so…tired? Maybe even a little defeated to Sharon's eyes. She knew that Andy's guilt was a far worse punishment than anything anyone else could ever do to him; she was sure he might have been feeling a little of it now. There was an unexpected tightness in her chest that was a little unsettling and she felt herself pale at the sudden realization. It was as if the implications of the transfer had just now registered with her and they were difficult to handle.

What if he did want this?

What if I can't convince him to stay?

If he really did want the transfer…then she would have to let him go, simple as that.

Maybe he had moved on.

No matter how much she would miss him, no matter how much she still loved him, Andy wasn't hers to keep anymore and she had to respect his need for distance. Of course she still loved him and she had regretted ever hurting him so deeply with the separation and then the divorce papers. It was something that had kept Sharon up many nights; reliving and replaying the events that had lead her to this point in her life. 

Missing Andy was an ache in her chest that never seemed to go away. When she transferred to Major Crimes it was a relief to see and interact with him again, no matter if it was in a professional forum or how selfish that seemed of her. Maybe her joy at being near him again had blinded her from what was really going on.

The nature of their relationship began to change subtly and in small ways they began to reconnect. He was her biggest support, maybe not from the beginning but close enough. Then they slowly began to come closer after Rusty fell into their laps; if he was going to be around Avery then Andy insisted on getting to know him. He grew to love the teenage boy as she had and as his own.

Through all their tough cases and entanglements their bond deepened further; her coffee began showing up on her desk in the morning along with the occasional bagel or parfait. Soon the coffee turned into lunch and then dinner dates; maybe she had read the signals all-wrong.

She watched as he slowly got on to his feet, gently wiping the sand from his jeans and she prepared herself. She shifted so her feet were planted slightly apart and schooled her face in a mask of determination.

When he finally realized she was there, his reaction alone almost made her giggle. Sharon could tell from the way he took a deep breath and looked up at the sky, that he knew he was in for a serious argument.

She wouldn't disappoint him, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work was originally featured only page for ff.net, but I am slowly transferring all my works over to ao3. This is one of my personal favorite AUs that I've written, and now that I'm sharing it with a new audience I hope to finish it, perhaps make it longer than originally intended!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally come face to face, are there going to be fireworks?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Disclaimer: The characters and respective shows are not mine, I can only claim the story line and my own OC, and everything else I'm just borrowing.

She started before he had even made his way up the steps.

"You know," she began, "if you had just answered your phone, I wouldn't even had to come."

Andy looked at her puzzled, "My phone?"

Sharon let out a frustrated huff, "Yes Andy, your phone…I tried calling you three times."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his iPhone and when he tapped the home button nothing happened. The screen remained blank and it was his turn to sigh heavily.

"It must have died on the way here," he stated as he slipped past Sharon, "I'm sorry you had to come all this way."

There was a moment where Sharon began to doubt herself; he obviously hadn’t intended to ignore her. Letting his phone die was so unlike him that she wasn’t willing to let it go however.

"What if it had been about Avery?" she insisted, "What if she had been hurt and I couldn't reach you?"

Andy flinched at the accusation in her voice and he could feel his temper beginning to come to the surface.

"Sharon," he began levelly, "I told you where I was going, not like you couldn't have called the land line," he gestured wildly at the house.

She sniffed impatiently, "When would you have heard it? You were so far out and not to mention you didn't even lock the front door!"

This behavior, this carelessness towards himself was so out of the ordinary for Andy that it was beginning to deeply concern Sharon. Andy huffed irritably.  
"There's no one out here at this time of night," he grumbled, "not to mention I didn't see a single soul on the way out here."

He slipped past her and headed up the steps. Sharon tilted her head to the side slightly as she trailed after him, her hands beginning to shake, from the cold or her emotions she wasn’t sure. Andy seated himself in one of the wooden deck chairs and motioned with his hand for her to have a seat in the other.

"Unless you'd rather sit inside," he hesitated, "I know how cold you can get, we can go inside…"

As he began to rise from the chair, Sharon placed a gentle hand on his shoulder to keep him in place and shook her head slightly. She could feel her irritation at his behavior staring to dissipate and slowly be replaced be by unease.

"Its ok," she squeezed his shoulder softly, "if I get cold I will let you know."

Andy nodded his head absentmindedly as he stared at his clasped hands. Sharon sat carefully in the chair and brought her hands across her chest, this time in contemplation not in defense. She watched him study his hands for a few moments, waiting for him to look at her and see the earnestness and concern on her face. When he didn't look at her she decided to start the conversation and try to coax him into talking.

"Do you want to tell me what this is about?"

He sat up finally and looked directly at Sharon with a familiar mask in place, it seemed she and Avery weren't the only people who learned to guard their emotions over the last few years. She could tell he wasn't going to sugarcoat the situation for her.

"What's there to tell?" he shrugged once again, "I want a transfer."

Sharon looked at him with disbelief and the fact that he could be so cavalier and nonchalant about this, it was beginning to make her angry. How could he just throw away everything they had rebuilt over the last few years? How could he just leave without even telling Sharon to her face? She deserved that much at least. 

She tried to swallow past the lump in her throat and the tears beginning to gather behind her eyes. She gripped the seat of the chair; the hard surface digging into the palms of her hands anchored her for the moment.

"Why?"

That simple question had the power to totally disarm the Lieutenant, it was so simple and complicated at the same time. The desperation in her voice made Andy look at Sharon and for the first time really saw her. He saw her without her captain's mask or the mask of the mother, this was the Sharon he had fallen in love with, the one that still held his heart now. This was the person he had vowed an oath of love to, for better or worse. This was the person that he thought he would spend the rest of his life with. She was someone with whom, at one point, he could be completely himself. No pomp and no circumstance.

He could see the sheen of tears behind the lenses of her glasses and knew she was close to losing the battle of keeping them at bay. When he didn't speak she continued.

"I understand that it's a wonderful opportunity for your career," she inhaled shakily, "but why?"

He didn’t know how to answer that question...all his reasons that he kept repeating seemed to melt away when he came face to face with Sharon. None of them seemed valid or at least he didn’t know how to explain their validity to the woman in front of him.

When he didn’t answer she faltered for a moment and Andy could see the wheels in her mind beginning to turn. Sharon began to pluck at the seam of her pajama pants; she was barely able to feel the tips of her fingers now. She looked at him and then to her lap, she had obviously come to some sort conclusion.

"Unless its me…" and then she looked towards him questioningly, her eyes large and solemn in her pale face.

He still couldn't produce a response and his silence seemed to be enough for Sharon, understanding and maybe even guilt in her expression. She couldn’t stop him from leaving because she was the reason, he didn’t want to be around her anymore. She could feel the ache in her chest begin to spread.  
Andy watched helplessly as she began to cut herself off from the world and him, it was a heartbreaking thing to witness. She searched the front of her sweatshirt for the pocket for her hands and he almost smiled…almost. She drew her legs up in front of her and laid her head on top of them, looking at him.

"It is me, isn't it?" she asked tears brimming just below her lash line.

Her breathing became erratic and he watched as her nose grew red, two telltale signs that Sharon was on the brink of a breakdown. She turned her head so her face was buried in her bent knees and brought her hands from the pocket of her sweatshirt to gently grasp her legs. He couldn't see her but he could hear the soft sobs coming from the woman seated across from him.

Andy didn't know what to do; he was so torn with wanting to comfort her, to bring her into his arms and not knowing where they stood anymore. Yes over the last year or so they gotten closer, but just how close? 

They were sharing the occasional dinner or movie out, but where did that leave them? Obviously Sharon thought more of it than Andy had…maybe he was the one who had ignored the signs. How could he have been so insensitive? So oblivious to what she must have been feeling and what was in fact happening? It seemed that Andy had been so engrossed in his own melancholy thoughts that he had failed to notice what Sharon had seen.

He rose from his chair quickly and crouched down in front of Sharon's chair. He could see how tightly she was gripping the material of her pants and how hard the sobs were wracking her body now. He gently rubbed her leg through the flannel pants, feeling the softness from the material and the warmth from her skin underneath. When she didn't respond her softly called her name.

"Sharon?" he tried, "Sweetheart, please look at me?"

She finally lifted her head at his long lost endearment and Andy could see the redness under her eyes and the quiver to her lips. She wiped her cheeks and under her nose with the back of her hand as she looked at him. The grip of her teeth on her lower lip tightening slightly; she bit it when she was nervous. The green of her eyes was what captured his gaze; they were especially luminescent as she looked at him through the tears. Without thinking Andy leaned forward and pressed his lips gently to hers, coaxing her teeth to let go of the tortured bottom lip.

When he felt her melt into him, a whimper of relief rushing past her lips and into his own mouth, he knew he had made the right decision. The kiss was tentative and shy at first; it had been years since they had shared more than an awkward hug or a chaste kiss on the cheek. But this…this was different...it was a kiss filled with a hunger that had been long forgotten. 

He brought his hands to her face to gently cup her cheeks and stroking the delicate bones. He could feel her hands slip to the back of his head, stroking the back of his neck gently. Encouraging him to move closer and to continue his ministrations, it was his lower lip that was caught between her teeth this time.

He pulled her from the chair and groaned faintly when she landed in his lap with a little more force than he intended. She giggled into his mouth faintly, continuing along his cheek and placing light kisses to his sensitive skin. Sharon remembered just how much he liked it when she kissed the skin of his neck; his grunt when she passed over the place in question made her grin. The embrace became feverish and demanding, their lips becoming raw from the constant bombardment.

He could feel Sharon's moist breath against his neck and the way she was steadily trying to move her body closer to his. She wanted to be as close to him as she could possibly get; Andy had missed this closeness and the intimacy that it afforded them. He wanted nothing more to continue this, he had missed the feeling of his wife's body against his own, but he knew they needed to talk before this could go any further.

Not wanting to make Sharon think he didnt enjoy what was happening, he kissed the side of her head and gently squeezed her thighs. He was trying to put some distance between them; it was hard to think when he was completely immersed in Sharon. She understood and leant back to look at his face, the look one she hadn't seen in a while.

"Before we go any further, there are a few things we need to talk about," he reasoned.

Sharon nodded her head slowly, searching his eyes for something… something she must have found because she smiled at Andy gently. She reached to straighten the collar of his shirt and swept her hands over his arms, smoothing any wrinkles they had caused. When she came to his hands she gave them a fleeting squeeze, letting him know that they were on the same page. She appreciated his concern and knew he was right, of course.

"Definitely," she agreed, "maybe we should continue this inside?"

Andy nodded imperceptibly and gripped her hips as Sharon went to stand, steadying her as she gingerly rose to her feet. She reached down towards him and motioned for Andy to give her his hand, helping him to his feet in return. When he turned for the sliding glass door, Sharon stopped him with a hand on his chest; she patted it softly.

"There are many things we need to discuss," she admitted, "but there's something you should know now."

It was now Andy's turn to tilt his head in question and wait for her to continue. She bit her lip again and he knew that whatever she had to say next was going to be difficult for her to admit. Sharon looked down at her hands on Andy's chest and watched them grip the material slightly. She took a calming breath and began speaking.

"What happened between us, the separation...the divorce papers," she started, "never should have happened."

Andy was frozen for a few moments trying to process the words as they fell from her lips. Then the smile she had missed so dearly appeared on his face, the deep dimples in his cheeks telling her how pleased he was to hear her confession.

She returned the smile timidly and continued, "I've regretted it every day since."

Too overcome with emotion to speak at the moment, Andy grasped her elbows gently and leaned in to kiss Sharon's forehead. He let his lips linger for a little bit longer than necessary, the feeling of her soft skin so familiar. They both let their eyes close and savored the contact, the gesture so familiar. He then gently pushed on Sharon's lower back, encouraging her to move ahead and through the door to the house. She could feel the warmth of his thumb making slight circles against the fabric of her sweatshirt.

"Lets make some tea," he suggested, "and then we can talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work was originally featured only page for ff.net, but I am slowly transferring all my works over to ao3. This is one of my personal favorite AUs that I've written, and now that I'm sharing it with a new audience I hope to finish it, perhaps make it longer than originally intended!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lets see if tea can help the situation...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is mine but the characters and shows belong to their respective owners. Reviews are love!

Tea was the perfect excuse to keep his hands busy, if he wasn't doing something with them he would surely pull Sharon back towards his body. He could feel her presence behind him, radiating as she leant against the counter. Andy almost forgot how drawn together they were; even when they weren't on very good terms at the beginning of her stint in Major Crimes they would gravitate towards one another. Glancing over his shoulder he could see her, so unassuming as she took in the surroundings in more detail.

Long gone memories began to assault him, things he hadn't dredged up in years, flooded his thoughts all of the sudden. Images of Sharon, younger obviously, sitting on the counter and swinging her legs as talked about everything and anything. Her hair was a little longer and a deeper red than what she wore now, closer to her natural color he remembered with a smile. The freckles on her cheeks more pronounced from spending the day on the beach and in the sand with him. He could hear her high pitched giggle as he pulled her closer to the edge, situating himself between her thighs, kissing her passionately.

He remembered her telling him she would leave unless he got his drinking under control. He had come to the beach house to escape for a few days and little did he know that she would follow him…no, that's not true. If he had been thinking straight he would have known she'd come. She stood in the middle of the kitchen, her voice dangerously low and hands planted firmly on her hips, hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. Her eyes were flashing, their green color captivating him even in his inebriated state, boring into him and emphasizing every syllable. They had driven back home later that night…he also found his first meeting the next morning.

Another memory came now, this one a little more melancholy. It wasn't long after his mother died and he had retreated to the beach house, needing to be alone to grieve. He remembered feeling guilty for leaving Sharon so abruptly, not knowing what was wrong and with a new baby nonetheless. He had his head resting against the counter, leaning heavily on his arms when he felt the light pressure on his back. When he turned her smile was radiant and watery, she could feel his pain and wanted to comfort him the best way she knew possible. She wrapped one arm around his middle, keeping a steady hand on the baby cradled to her shoulder, and drew him closer. When he had both his girls in his arms he became whole once again.

The last time she had been here wasn't a pleasant experience. It was just after the Rick Zuman case and he had retreated to lick his wound so to speak. He couldn't believe after everything they knew about one another that Sharon could accuse him of something so despised as witness tampering and badgering. That she could think him capable of anything along those lines was nauseating and a real knife in his heart.

He had seen something flash in those familiar eyes hidden behind those glasses as he let his temper rise and with it the volume of his voice. It was fear and it definitely wasn't sympathy…it was more along the lines of pity. Then she had drug out his personal jacket in front of the Chief and it had all been down hill from there. She insisted she was just doing her job, but Andy knew that he had been under her microscope for some time.

When he finally did leave the station, he headed straight for the parking garage, imagining the emptiness of the highway. He was on medical leave anyway and Sharon had Avery for the weekend…he didn't have anyone he needed to say goodbye to. What he didn't expect was to find the object of his frustrations leant against his car, feet crossed at her ankles and the look of determination on her face.

"Andy please just let me explain," she began.

He stood in front of her looking at the ground, refusing to make eye contact, for his Nana had always said if you couldn't be civil then say nothing at all. He could hear her shuffle uneasily.

"Will you look at me?"

When Andy once again refused Sharon let loose a frustrated sound almost like a hum. The level of irritation in that one menial sound was very dangerous, he knew he was walking on think ice, but he couldn't help it.

He then sensed a change in her demeanor; she straightened her shoulders and shook her head solemnly. Then she began walking away, her gait sure and steady, not a trace of the unease he sensed as was leant against the door of his vehicle. It took every ounce of willpower he possessed not to turn around, to not look after her and hope that she would indeed turn around. To not hope that she would come back and try again…but as he heard the door to the stairs bang shut he k new that was something that wouldn't happen.

He snapped out of the memory, not wanting the residual feelings to roll over into the conversation they were about to have. This was as serious as they were going to get and he knew that he needed a level and clear head to deal with Sharon, who on her best days was a little hard to follow in her train of thought. But to be completely honest he was just glad she was willing to open up now; whether things would change between them well…they would have to see. True he had never stopped loving her, but in some ways they, both of them, were different people now; they had changed.

He knew some of her habits that were ingrained into her soul, but what else did he know exactly? Did she still refrain from drinking or had his absence in the house allowed her to live a little? Did she still fall asleep while reading in bed? Did she still wear that subtle perfume, the one that smelled of lavender? Did she still sleep with the window open because she sleeps better when she's cold? There were many things he wasn't sure of anymore.

He jumped slightly when her smaller hand stopped his mid stir, stilling the progress of the spoon and the incessant tinkling on the side of the ceramic mug.

"I think it's mixed," her rich voice came over his shoulder, "don't you?"

He nodded absentmindedly as he watched the small hand gather up on of the mugs, the one with honey instead of real sugar, then disappear from sight once again.

She cleared her throat softly, "Lets sit on the couch…we'll be more comfortable there."

Andy couldn't help but follow, albeit slowly.

She could see the doubt beginning to swirl in his mind as he kept stirring the tea; she knew he was lost in memories. She watched the play of muscles under his shit, the way they shifted along with the agitated rise and fall of his chest. The gentle touch and suggestion to sit in the living room was as much for Andy's sake as it was for Sharon's. It was comfortable surroundings where, she hoped, neither one would feel put out.

She settled on one end of the couch first, listening as her boots fell to the floor with a muted thwump. She drew her legs up to her chest, resting her forearms on her knees while cradling the warm mug of tea between her hands. She watched silently as Andy situated himself on the opposite, coincidentally is favorite spot, and leant back casually. His demeanor, to Sharon at least, was anything but, the calm of earlier had transformed into an uneasiness she couldn't understand.

She circled the rim of her glass, the repetitive motion seemingly giving her enough courage to start this conversation. She took a shallow breath and then dove in headfirst.

"Where would you like to start?" she questioned.

Andy was quiet for a few moments, she imagined putting his thoughts into order. He rubbed his hand over his face in a tired manner.

"I'm not sure…"he began and then hesitated.

She raised her eyebrow at the unasked question.

"I mean," he hesitated again, "what are we doing here, Sharon?"

She was silent for a moment, "Well I thought we were going to…"

"Talk," Andy interrupted, "I know that, but I mean what are we doing?"

Sharon shook her head, she was sure what they were doing and she had no idea how to explain that to him.

Andy sighed again, "I have a few questions and they might be a little hard to answer, but id like you to try."

She nodded slightly, unsure of where this was headed.

The man sitting across from her sat forward, putting his mug on the coffee table. He then shifted so he was facing her fully, giving her his full and undivided attention.

"Why didn't you file the papers?"

There was need for him to clarify, she knew exactly what papers he was referring to and she began to flounder.

"I don't…"she tried but couldn't form a coherent sentence.

"Sharon," his voice was low but not biting, "one thing we have always been, even when we weren't civil, is honest with each other."

She looked at him with startled eyes made that much bigger behind the lenses of her glasses. She had though about that question a lot, but she could never come up with a straight answer…how could she tell Andy this?

"I'm not sure," she confessed, "there were ties that I knew it was for the best and that I should just do it but…"

He titled hi head to the side slightly and encouraging her to continue with her train of thought.

She breathed shallowly, "I couldn't."

The only response from her estranged husband was a raise of his eyebrow, a move that she knew he had learned from her through the years. When she was slow to respond Andy took up the conversation and gave Sharon a little reprieve.

"When we said our vows," he said reflectively, "I never thought we would be here, after all these years, debating what was left of our marriage."

The lump in her throat returned with a vengeance, it was now threatening to overwhelm her, to make her loose her composure.

"Hell," he laughed, but it was without humor, "you were so adamant, Sharon, so adamant that I sign those damn papers."

He paused, "I signed them, because it was what you wanted…all I wanted to know was what I did wrong."

He looked at her now and she couldn't help but be mesmerized by the sheen of tears she could see collecting around his eyelids.

"I…" her voice cracked and she cleared her throat.

"I think you at least owe me that much," Andy rubbed the back of his head, "some sort of an explanation."

She swallowed painfully.

"I was scared," she admitted, "so scared Andy."

He inclined his head once ore but this time in question. Once the words began to pour from her mouth she found she was unable to stop, but maybe that was a good thing.

"Everything…work, our home dynamic, the way we were around each other, it just wasn't working."

She took a deep breath, "I was afraid for Avery, I didn't want her to grow up in that type of an environment…I didn't want to be there."

Sharon sat in silence as she watched Andy process the new information; she watched the wheels turning in his head.

"But the more I thought about it," she continued, "and the longer we were apart, the more I realized that maybe it was something we could have worked through."

He watched as she slumped against the couch, trying to make herself that much smaller, trying to disappear. He could see the tears beginning to fall and the redness returning to her nose. She bit her lip and readied herself for the next part of the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work was originally featured only page for ff.net, but I am slowly transferring all my works over to ao3. This is one of my personal favorite AUs that I've written, and now that I'm sharing it with a new audience I hope to finish it, perhaps make it longer than originally intended!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure where I wanted to go with them; Andy and Sharon still have a lot to talk about. I have a feeling its going to be a loooooong night!

"But by the time I had worked up enough courage to talk to you," Sharon continued, "it was too late."

Andy stared at her, the look on his face one of utter confusion. What did she mean?

"Sharon," he began, his tone was low, "I tried to engage you, tried to talk to you."

He chuckled, but it wasn't a sound of humor. This particular sound seemed to be born of frustration…disbelief perhaps. Her eyes darted to his leg which began to twitch erratically; his hand raised to his mouth covering it and wiping at the corners. His gaze was no longer trained on Sharon, but focused inward, maybe reliving what had played out in the last few years.

"Andy," she tried again, but he succinctly cut her off.

"You were the one who left me wondering," his hands were moving and his voice dropped lower, "you are the one who shut me out!"

She shook her head frantically, sitting forward on the couch, her feet coming into contact with the rug and hardwood floor underneath. Her eyes blazed with intense…well he wasn't sure what the emotion was, anger or irritation?

"Me?" Sharon questioned, her tone matching his, "I shut you out?"

Andy gritted his teeth, willing himself to say nothing he would regret. He didn't want to fight with her, but he needed to make her understand his perspective, she had to see.

"Yes you!"

Sharon sighed exasperatedly, "Andy you transferred divisions."

"SO DID YOU!"

The volume of his voice not only startled his wife but himself as well; yes Andy had a reputation as a hothead, but he rarely lost his temper with Sharon. It took a lot for him to lose control of his feeling and lash out at her, he could remember one time when he ended up in this exact beach house, questioning his intentions with her, if he truly was what was best for the brunette.

He could feel the blood pumping in his veins; the rush of the blood as the flow quickened…it was beginning to make him feel light headed. He needed to calm down and he needed to do it now.

Andy bent forward and placed his head between his knees, praying that the bout of dizziness would pass, that he wouldn't pass out in front of Sharon, he had so many things he needed to say. The pressure of her gentle hand between his shoulder blades, warm through the fabric of his shirt, made him jump. The Lieutenant shrugged the hand off abruptly and shot to his feet

Sharon watched him with weary eyes as Andy paced the living room floor, back and forth he strode, determination in every step.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I didn't mean to…"

He held up his hand to silence her. He could see her out of the corner of his eye, sitting forward on the couch, her eyes seemed sad.

"I tried Sharon," he stated calmly, "and I'm not saying you didn't, but you can't deny that you pushed me away."

He looked at her then, really and truly looked at her, her eyes large and glossy behind her lenses; a slight tremble in her shoulders. She was beginning to lose control and to Andy that was a welcomed sight, it meant she still genuinely felt something…some kind of remorse for what had transpired.

"You made me sign those papers, straight and to the point. No discussion of where this left us as a couple, no idea of what we could have done to make things better."

He was becoming more and more agitated.

"You never looked back," Andy continued, "not until you felt it was convenient for you."

What he said hit Sharon square in the chest and for a moment, just for a moment, she forgot the ability to breathe. It was something that she had never considered, she had just always assumed that there would be an opportune time for her to correct her mistakes, to right the wrongs of her past.

Andy paused and seemed to consider his words carefully, as if once said they could never be taken back.

"Until you became head of Major Crimes, heck when you started following us during the audit, you were content not to see me."

He crossed his arms over his chest in a defensive stance, "You were fine seeing me at drop offs or at Avery's games, it took me being hurt…stiches in my side and arm in a sling for you to confront me."

"And even then," he continued, "you did so at work, in the most sterile and least intimate place possible."

She could tell by the look in his eyes that was what really hurt, the disregard for his feelings when she had only been trying to help him move one. She hadn't wanted to string him along or make him think there was anything more, with the way she treated the divorce papers and that situation she had already put him through enough.

He now sat in the armchair adjacent to the couch, hands on his knees and knuckles white. Andy bowed his head slightly, mesmerized by the sight of his hands, and was quiet for a few moments. He rubbed his hands through his hair when he slowly looked up and locked eyes with Sharon.

"And then," he continued, "we were forced back together and here we seem to be."

She was nodding her head silently, not looking at him but it seemed almost through him. He could tell that she was now the person looking into herself, being introspective. Andy sat back in his chair and crossed his legs, a calming seeming to settle over his body. He had needed to voice his opinion to Sharon for sometime, the opportunity had never been right until now, here she was willingly to listen any way. The realization made her heart ache; she was once again startled by the raw emotion she could hear in his voice.

"Having said that, I have one last question for you."

He paused for effect she knew, he wanted her to understand just how serious and desperate he was. Andy made it a point to connect with her eyes, letting her see exactly what the situation had done to him over the years, what strain he had been under and how he had come to terms with it.

When he continued his tone was measured and controlled, the only thing that let her know his true state of mind was the slight tremor in his hands.

""If we hadn't been thrust back together, would you have ever sought me out?"

At the confused tilt to Sharon's head he pushed on.

"Is this just convenient?"

Sharon's first instinct was to be angry…extremely angry. How could he just assume that she would use him like that? That she was even capable of doing something like that?

But the more she thought about the situation the more she could see, quite clearly, Andy's point of view. She had been looking at this all-wrong; where she had thought she was conscious of his feelings, she in fact had no idea. From the outside looking in, over the past few months…maybe even the year she had seemed manipulative.

No wonder he's so wary.

Sharon shifted in her seat, crossing her legs nervously and laying her hands on her knees.

"Andy," she implored, "how could you think that?"

Without missing a beat he fired back, "How could I not?"

Again she shook her head, "I know we've had our differences, but I would never treat you that way."

He looked toward the window; she could see his muscles become tense and his posture straighten.

Sharon continued hesitantly, "I believe it was you who began a certain nickname, you who terrorized me along with that partner of yours and made my life a living hell."

Now Andy looked at her, a throw pillow clutched tightly to her chest and her fingers were playing idly with the short fringe.

"Sharon, I'm not saying I'm a saint," he stated.

She could see the shame and regret in his eyes. She knew that the wicked witch had been a way for him to cope and that he hadn't meant to hurt her. She knew that wasn't the type of man she had married…was still married to in point of fact.

He spoke again, confirming her thoughts, "And you also know that if I could I would take back everything…just put it at the end of my long list of regrets."

He shrugged self depreciatingly; he always did that when he let his guilt get the best of him. To a degree it was endearing and a quality Sharon admired.

"I have many regrets, some even older than our relationship, but I've learned to live with them and try to over come them."

Nervous energy overwhelming him, Andy stood up and began to pace again…ending up on the couch next to Sharon. He sat himself close to her, so close she could feel the heat from his body, and gathered her hands in his own.

"I have become ok, I have not moved on, but for the most part I'm ok," he admitted.

"It doesn't hurt to look at you anymore…I can be in the same room with you and not feel like I'm drowning, no more burning in my chest."

Her lieutenant disengaged one hand from hers and gingerly rubbed the back of his neck. Andy's eyes closed in pleasure from the brief respite form the tenseness in his muscles; she wanted to reach out and help alleviate the stress…stress he seemed to have caused. She watched as he glanced down.

His voice was quiet, "I can't do this again."

At those words her heart sank and she could feel the blood rush from her face. Maybe this was the rejection she had been unconsciously waiting for…

"What do you mean?" her voice cracked at the end.

The look he gave Sharon went her eyes and into her soul; it made her breath short and labored, spots forming on the edge of her peripheral vision.

He sat up straight, "I will not set my self up to be hurt again."

Andy's face inched closer to hers; she could finally see the outline of his pupil, his gaze never leaving hers.

"I will not," he insisted again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work was originally featured only page for ff.net, but I am slowly transferring all my works over to ao3. This is one of my personal favorite AUs that I've written, and now that I'm sharing it with a new audience I hope to finish it, perhaps make it longer than originally intended!

**Author's Note:**

> This work was originally featured only page for ff.net, but I am slowly transferring all my works over to ao3. This is one of my personal favorite AUs that I've written, and now that I'm sharing it with a new audience I hope to finish it, perhaps make it longer than originally intended!


End file.
